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The
Almost-Annual Matt Armbruster Memorial
BIG WHEEL RALLY |
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STANDARD DISCLAIMER:This ride-on toy is for novelty purposes only and is not to be
used near swimming pools, on or near hills, roadways, or stairways.
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance
to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. This tricycle
is not designed or manufactured for competition use or stunting.
Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately
by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during
shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Replace
if pitted, scratched, or defective. Postage will be paid by addressee.
Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities.
Apply only to affected area. Off road riding is hazardous. May be
too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional
listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models
over 18 years of age. Caution: Tarts may be hot when removed from
the toaster. Return to protective container when not in use. If
condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable
parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to
change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Riding
at night is hazardous. No postage necessary if mailed in the United
States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road
use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look
alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Colors may, in time, fade. Shoes must be worn at all times when
riding this toy. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for
you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with
the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television.
Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without
postage. It is prohibited by federal law to concentrate and inhale
this product for purposes inconsistent with its labeling. List was
current at time of printing. Always use approved safety lighting
when riding at night. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file,
unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental
or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure
to perform. Protects against flying particles. At participating
locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label
for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write
below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your
canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid
contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item
is properly endorsed. Designed for only one rider at a time. Sign
here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Do not allow children to play with these parts. The following stunts
were performed by professionals, so for your safety and the protection
of those around you, we insist that neither you nor your dumb little
buddies attempt any of what you're about to see. Employees and their
families are not eligible. Beware of dog. High temperatures may
be generated under certain abnormal conditions. Contestants have
been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer,
call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win.
No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Professional
driver on closed road, do no attempt this yourself. Processed at
location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment
may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire
or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Complies
with latest ANSI and OSHA standards. Booths for two or more. Check
here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. This product
stays fresh and delicious on your kitchen shelf. Price does not
include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children.
Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited.
No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless
otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at
least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Void where
prohibited by law. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not
carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear
for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions
on back of previous stub. Some states do not allow the exclusion
or limitation of incidental or consequential damages, so the above
limitation or exclusion may not apply to you. I agree to bail Matt
out of jail if _______________________ _____________________________ Signature Date
(Press hard, six copies) |
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The Almost Annual Matt Armbruster
Memorial Big Wheel Rally, BWR, Captain Obvious, "Obvious" Emblem,
& all content © 1991-
Matt Armbruster.
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