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Toys For Big Boys
By Rob Bernstein and Matt Rodbard

Now that you've made it, stock the house with every guilty pleasure you were denied as a kid.

Toys 2
Toys 3

Adult-Size Big Wheels At last, the greatest toy ever sold is now available for grown-ups. In order to carry the load of a 180-pound adult, engineers at Big Wheel Rally Labs in Lakewood, Colo., extend the plastic rigs' frames and mate them to twin steel axles and four plastic rear wheels. No need to thank us. ;

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Digital Slot Cars With Scalextric's Sports Digital Track, as many as six racecars can duel (even switching lanes) at the same time. Com- pete in up to seven challenge modes, including Time Trial and Pursuit. And don't worry about finishes that are too close to call—the digital clock calculates lap times to within 1/1,000th of a second. $250;

An Amp That Goes to 22! Score immediate braggin' rights with Denon's AVR-5805 AV receiver—and not just because it weighs a backbreaking 97 pounds. The receiver boasts 10 amplifiers and 22 channels of audio output; it can simultaneously support 9.1 and 5.1 surround sound setups, plus two stereo systems. Just look at the backside of the behemoth—Mary Mother of God, that'll impress your kids' friends. $6,000;

Indoor/Outdoor Whirlybird Anyone who has ever flown a remote-controlled heli knows that the things crash faster than cargo carriers over Mazar-e-Sharif. But unlike larger gas-powered rotos, the 21-inch Esky Honey Bee Electric Mini RC is scaled down-allowing for quick setup and even quicker mastery. And with a complete line of spare parts available, chopper pilots can perform Jan-Michael-Vincent-worthy sorties without fear. $249;

Ultra-Ultra Megaphone Let your voice be heard … from 10 football fields away. The powerful 25-watt Fanon Deluxe Megaphone, with pistol-grip action, not only amplifies voices, it blares a terrifyingly loud foghorn. Perfect for out-shouting other parents at the youngster's Little League game. $148;

Wireless Cans Headphone wires get caught on gym equipment, around doorknobs, in fan belts. Wires suck. Cut the cords with Bluetake's universally-compatible BT420EX i-Phono Bluetooth Hi-Fi Sports Head-phone Kit. While it's not cheap, the wireless headphones work with any player sporting a stereo jack. Just plug the white iPod-friendly dongle into an MP3 player and proceed to rock it hard. $195;

Barely-Legal Pellet Gun Are geese laying meadow dressing in your carefully manicured koi pond again? Give 'em a scare from the safety of your backyard sniper's den. The Logun S-16 .22-caliber air rifle—with adjustable scope and stand—sports a 16-pellet magazine that can be fired off in seconds. Warning: This is not your daddy's Red Rider cock-and-shoot. $800;

Mini Dirt Bike Once reserved for beginner riders and daring midgets, 50cc dirt monsters are all the rage with celebs these days, with gold-plated models landing in the garages of Kid Rock and Ice Cube. Honda's CRF50F features an easy-to-use three-speed clutch and comes in classic Honda red as well as, er, classic Honda red. $1,599;

Mobile Gaming Powerhouse Nothing kills time on a coast-to-coast flight like six hours of blood-spattered carnage in World of Warcraft. For this, Dell offers its new Inspiron XPS Gen 2 notebook, an 8.6-pounder with a 17-inch wide screen, brushed gunmetal armored shell and GeForce Go 6800 Ultra graphics (the most powerful available in a laptop today). And of course there's one- button access to movies, music and photos—meaning you won't have to boot up the entire system just to load Airport '75. Starting at $2,249;

Super Soakers: More Powerful Than Ever Shoot to chill. Thanks to Super Soaker's new Arctic Shock with "Ice Core" technology (a water-filled cartridge that's first frozen, then popped into the gun), fighters can spray nipple-stiffening bursts of doom. Fire a round into a friend's tympanic cavity and watch him buckle from earache. Best of all, with its pat-ented Constant Pressure System, your last blast will be as strong as the first. $15;

Golf Cart Hotrods Once reserved for NFL training camp coaches and the perky beer maiden at the local 18-hole, tricked-out golf carts are now available to ordinary Joes looking for new ways to retrieve the mail. The CC Roadster is built like a Cadillac, with chip-resistant paint and a trunk that pops open for extra seating. Better still is the customized Hum G, which includes off-roading tires for steamrolling the Segway-ridin' loser down the block. Roadster, $8995; Hum G, $8295;

Palm-Size Projector Think of Mitsubishi's PocketProjector as a portable 50-inch flat-panel TV. Weighing less than a pound, the remarkable gizmo can beam giant images onto walls or screens, and runs continuously for 2.5 hours on a single charge. Connect it to a laptop and play vids any damn where you please. Out in July. $699;

Classic Drum Kit John Bonham, Sheila E., the one-armed guy from Def Leppard—they all started on kits like this. The Pearl Export embodies the sleek design and professional construction of the big-boy models, including a snare, toms and all the cymbals needed to annoy your neighbors. Now recruit a crew of roadies (your kids maybe?) and throw a gig in your living room, with Mommy on slap bass. $740;

World's Largest Plasma Sure, an 80-inch flat screen is a little over the top. But just imagine seeing that husky girl from American Idol in all her wide-screen glory. Samsung's HPR8072 will sell in summer—for a meager $60,000;

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